Saturday, April 15, 2017

The Worst Things People Say When You Marry Young (and my responses)

  Hey everyone! I know I totally missed out on last week's post. Everything was absolutely crazy and the weekend snuck by me and passed on and I had no great blogging ideas so I just kind of left it at that. And I know that my post for this week really doesn't have much to do with writing or stories. I apologize. This is a subject that's been on my mind and heart lately and I wanted to share some of my thoughts with my little community of readers.

  So, without further ado, here are some things people say when they find out you're getting married young (and my incredibly salty responses).


this is my beautiful engagement ring - yay!

  #1 - YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE!


   Oh, I'm SO glad that you were here to remind me of my life's course as a young person - your prerequisites for being ready to get married (partying, running wild, being tragically irresponsible) sound like the best way for me to live until I'm comfortably 30 and ready to drop into a vegetative state of suburban mom-hood like you did.

  #2 - YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.


  I guess if everyone's decision making in their youth was as bad as yours, Brenda, then we would be in a bit of a pickle, eh?

  #3 - I COULD NEVER DO THAT. 


  Here's an idea - don't?

  #4 - AREN'T YOU WORRIED ABOUT LOSING YOUR INDEPENDENCE/INDIVIDUALITY?


  I didn't realize a person's independence/individuality was so fragile that it broke upon signing a marriage license.

  #5 - ARE YOU GUYS EXPECTING?


  Expecting...rude and intrusive comments? Well, yes! Yes, we are.

  (No, I don't have to be pregnant with someone's child to be committing to them for life, usually committing should come first I think...)

  #6 - ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?


  Yeah, we are. But there are people who get married young who aren't, so what does that have to do with it?

  #7 - YOU'LL MISS GOING OUT AND HAVING FUN.


  I feel like our ideas of "going out and having fun" are drastically different if you think I can't still do that when I'm married.

  Also, didn't realize marriage was a prison, thanks for letting me know!

  #8 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD WAIT TIL YOU'RE OLDER?


  Nah, making you uncomfortable is more fun.

  #9 - HAVE YOU DATED ENOUGH TO COMMIT TO JUST ONE PERSON?


  Well, no, I haven't in fact tested every other type of male out there to see which one best suits me, I didn't realize dating was a scientific experiment.

  #10 - WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK?


  Pretty sure they're all quite eager to get rid of us.

  #11 - MARRIAGE IS SERIOUS, YOU KNOW. 


  As a nineteen year old totally incapable of doing anything serious ever, this could have been a real problem. Wow. Thanks for the warning.

  #12 - AREN'T YOU RUSHING THINGS A BIT?


  Well, we've been together for nearly three years...I guess for SOME people that might be too little time to make important, grown-up decisions. Guess we'll just string each other along for a few more then!

  #13 - HOW OLD ARE YOU?


  Nineteen years of age. My fiancee is nineteen. I know we both look like we're twelve but I swear we can like, drive and vote and stuff. You expect me to have made up my mind on a career I want to commit to for the rest of my life by age nineteen, why not a person?

  #14 - HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S "THE ONE"?


  I like him? Like, a lot? Is that acceptable?

  #15 - DON'T YOU KNOW THAT 50% OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE?


  Thanks for the vote of confidence, marriage Jedi-master (which totally wouldn't even be a thing cause Jedi don't get married, so HA).

  #16 - SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN SCHOOL, GETTING AN EDUCATION?


  Actually, I don't want to go to post-secondary, nor do I need to for my career choice. Nor did I want to before marriage was in the picture. I'm pretty content to be a writer from home, work a regular job and let him go do the nitty-gritty work of getting a degree. College is not my jam, okay? And, even if it was, since when does marriage stop me from going out and getting a degree? And since when does having a degree make me "educated"? I'm not stupid just because I choose not to go to post-secondary school, okay?

  #17 - ARE YOU FINANCIALLY READY TO GET MARRIED?


  Well, if I'm waiting for that in order to pass at getting married we're gonna be here for a looooonnnngggg time...

  However, if you feel like donating to my cause, I am more than happy to oblige you! :D

  #18 -  HAVE YOU REALLY THOUGHT THIS THROUGH?


  Well, I do have about a dozen documents dedicated to long wedding planning and post-wedding planning lists...I have been thinking a little bit. Have I thought it completely, 100% all the way through? Well...I haven't decided what to name our first dog yet...?



  There you go folks, my list of the worst things to say to people getting married young. Now, a small disclaimer, I must say that on the whole, everyone has been very excited for us - like, some more than us. XD And that's really great. We've never had any of these snide remarks from family or friends who care about us, but I totally know these things come up with those who know us less well and of course it happens in the lives of other young couples. I am also not saying that all young people should necessarily be getting married, some people just aren't ready in the least bit, whether they're 20 or 40. However, I think that has less to do with age and more to do with how well someone was raised to be a responsible and dedicated individual.

  Well, there's my young marriage rant off my chest. XD I hope you got some enjoyment from it even though it's probably not relevant to most of my readers!

  Happy Easter weekend everyone!

4 comments:

  1. Hehehe this post made me giggle!!!! I love your snark. ;) Actually this is pretty relevant to me...I'm not in a serious relationship, but being the oldest in my family I've heard it plenty of times (and I'm only 18): "you're not going to get married before you finish college are you?" and "tell me you plan to have a life before strapping yourself down to a marriage."

    Um...really people???

    Anyway. Thank you for this. It was quite enjoyable. And congrats to you and your fiancee!

    Ivy
    <a href="www.lakesidepublications.com”>// Lakeside Publications</a>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm my signature didn't work. Strange. Sorry for the messy code!

      Delete
    2. Thanks very much, Ivy! Part of me totally gets where they're coming from, and I have seen lots of girls get completely lost in their marriage to the point where they seem to have entirely lost the person they were before. Of course that certainly does and should happen to an extent, I just think it's said when they change and become super super "married and adult-ish" to the point of being rather boring. To me it's just like, ugh, no. I can't do that. And when people expect that from you and warn you against getting married because of it that's even worse - we don't ALL end up totally "wifed"!
      Maybe it's just being at this age, society has SO many expectations for young woman and if you defy a single one of them it's a MAJOR CRISIS.
      Thanks for stopping by! No worries at all about your signature either!

      Delete
  2. I love this SO SO much!! Your snarky attitude is hilarious XD I have a feeling we would get along too well. Honestly, though. The ability to handle stupid people with grace says so much about your maturity! So yeah I think you can handle getting married to your best friend!! I for one am very excited for you :D

    ReplyDelete