Battling Imposter Syndrome

   Mid-March already? 2021 seems to be flying by. How are you feeling about the year? Hopeful, anxious, uncertain, excited? What about as a writer or creative? For me, this is often the time of year when my mental health is at its lowest, and a large part of my struggle comes from this lovely thing called IMPOSTER SYNDROME. 

  If you're unfamiliar with the term, Google defines imposter syndrome as: a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence. 

  Some symptoms of imposter syndrome include:

• self-doubt
• attributing success solely to outside factors
• holding yourself back from new responsibilities or in your work performance
• job dissatisfaction and burnout
• hyper-focusing on tasks and goal-setting/achievement
• impact on mental health (anxiety, fear of being a fraud, depression, frustration, lack of self-confidence, and shame)

  Maybe you suffer from this too? If so, we are not alone! Imposter syndrome is prevalent among artists, writers, and other creators. After all, the very nature of creative work sets us up to be vulnerable to the opinions of others. Art is a subjective and very public business, and requires us to prove ourselves over and over again with every new book, painting, or song. 

  My personal battle with imposter syndrome has been ongoing through most of my teen and now adult years. Especially since getting into publishing, being hired for paid photoshoots, and working as a horse trainer more, this feeling that I am somehow lying to everyone, not good enough, in over my head, can become deafening. Imposter syndrome is working hard, doing your best, creating and putting things out into the world, hearing good things from others, and the inner critic in your head rising up to cut you down. Again and again. 

Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great

You'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate

Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith

- The Search, NF

  It is decidedly one of the hardest things I have to do, ignoring this voice in my head constantly telling me that I'm not good enough, not doing enough, asking too much, not worth it. It takes a lot mentally to push through this constant merry-go-round of criticism from my own brain in order to do the things I need and want to do, the things I love. 

  This month has been personally pretty hard for me for this. Thankfully my writing and creative space is very private right now, but my work life has been very stressful. I have a lot to do, I feel like I don't have what it takes, and others are relying on me to do it. It's tough. I have this cloud of dread hanging over me every time I wake up until I go to sleep at night, with little respite, and I have felt the claws of panic sinking into me on more than one occasion. 

  So what is a sufferer to do? Well, I can tell you I do not have the cure for this (clearly, from the above paragraph). But I wanted to share some things today that I've found helpful in battling imposter syndrome, hopefully they will help you too!

#1 RECOGNIZE SYMPTOMS. The first step to fixing a problem is knowing you have one! If the above symptoms sound familiar to you, you might be a sufferer. The good news is that when you know what is going on in your own brain, you can take steps to stop it from happening. When you can feel that little voice hissing criticism from the back of your mind, you can remember it's your head playing games, and it becomes easier to refuse to participate. 

#2. TALK ABOUT IT. This one can be hard, but sharing with a trusted friend or family member that you are really struggling with self-doubt can be really helpful. If you can trust this person in other facets of life, you can trust them to be honest with you, to listen to your challenges and put negative thoughts to bed. Often those closest to us are much better judges of the quality of our work, and they are usually proud of us and eager to tell us so!

#3. CHALLENGE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Like I touched on in the first tip, when you can see yourself spiraling and are aware of the criticisms your subconscious is lobbing at you, you can be better equipped to fight them. If you catch yourself saying, "wow, I can't believe I thought that would be good enough" simply stopping that thought with a "I'm doing the best I can with where I am at right now" can be beneficial. Be gentle on yourself, but be harsh on that little voice, shout and scream at it if you have to. Don't give it the time of day.

#4. ACCEPT THAT PERFECTION IS IMPOSSIBLE. For the perfectionists out there (like myself) this does not come easily. On the outside, it seems like everyone else has it all together, that people you see on social media, at school, work, or other activities have really made it while you're floundering and hoping nobody notices how you've fought to prop yourself up. Sometimes it's really hard to remember no one is perfect. Sometimes it's hard to accept ourselves with strengths and flaws, and be comfortable to simply work to improve them, knowing that is a lifetime endeavor. 

#5. KEEP GOING. This is sometimes the trickiest of all. When we are neck-deep in self-loathing, in a cycle of self-pity, negative thoughts, and wanting to give it all up, putting one foot in front of the other can often feel impossible. But it's pivotal. If we stop, we are letting the negative voices win, if we cease to pursue our work and our dreams, where does that leave us but defeated and nothing to show for our fight? I don't want to let my past, future, or even present self down but giving into the worst parts of myself. The things I create, do, and love are more important than that. 

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

6 Ways to Conquer Writers Block

6 Ways to Feel Creatively Refreshed

5 Simple Ways to be More Productive

LET'S TALK. 

  Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you feel with this draining, daily self-battle? How have you experienced victory in this area, big or small? Let me know in the comments below!